The 10 Commandments

Many people like to set themselves goals and resolutions for the New Year.

But, not me.

I’ve failed so many times to follow through on my New Year promises to myself that it seems utterly pointless to pretend anymore that just because the date has changed, I will.

However, I’m still very interested in the pursuit of indolence.  Or what i like to call ‘Me Time’.

So, I’ve used the downtime between Christmas Day and the New Year to recast the ancient 10 commandments for a new type of person Homo Ludens: Man the Game Player. Or me.

1.Mankind’s purpose is the pursuit of laughter and love.

2.Thou shalt not work. It is a distraction from point one (above) and generally demeaning.

3. School and university will be replaced by Chuckle Clubs & the young shall be taught Wit, Punning and Clowning only.

4. Every day will be a duvet day, except the Sabbath which will be celebrated by the wearing of false moustaches, wigs and general tomfoolery.

5. You must take in vain the name of all those who aspire to rule you, especially if they have a comb over.

6. Thou shall not covet anything of thy neighbour’s unless it be hidden offshore in a tax haven or illegally obtained in which case it must be reclaimed to reduce Laughter Inequalities in Society.

7. Thou shall not steal another’s jokes without attribution nor murder one without apology.

8. Gags shall replace the dollar as the world’s currency and Domestic Gag Product (DGP) will replace Gross Domestic Product (GDP) as a measure of national success. Membership of the G7 and G20 will be revised to reflect this new standard.

9. You shalt have no national anthem except Cockney Rebels’ ‘Make me Smile’.

10. Presidents, prime ministers and monarchs shall be replaced by Greg Davies from ‘Taskmaster’ who will set daily challenges to keep everyone busy giggling.

I look forward to comments on the feasibility of this economically and politically. But not much.