What’s the best iron money can buy?
I’m exhausted from watching ‘Zombieland Double Tap’ I’m woken by a South African woman urging me to ‘keep going’ and the sound of panting in my right ear. ‘Don’t stop now.’ Don’t stop? I don’t remember starting anything and I’d much rather go back to sleep. It’s only 8.30am for Heaven’s sake. ‘Noooooh,’ IContinue reading “Why hasn’t Covid turned me into a Yoga freak?”
My Covid oxygen tent is causing a stir If Howard Hughes were alive he’d want to spend Lock Down in my covid oxygen tent. Hughes was a billionaire businessman who had a phobia about germs, which is why he wore tissue boxes instead of shoes and insisted his valet wrapped his hands in paper towelsContinue reading “My Covid oxygen tent is not for sharing”
‘Like the ‘Play that Went Wrong’?’ asks my Son. ‘Or ‘One flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’?’ says my Wife. I’m trying to get them to understand how I feel but they don’t get it. Whoever coined the phrase ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ couldn’t do basic Maths. Our psychodrama plays out acrossContinue reading “Gwyneth Paltrow helps Mother”
Mother is holding a glass jar of orange marmalade in her left hand while she lances a knife into the jars’ mouth with her right, nervously, as if she were extracting honey from a beehive. Her hands tremble so the knife ricochets back and forth against the glass as if she were playing a triangleContinue reading “Blue Suede Shoes”